Man Cave Edition - Brotherly Love

0:04 And I see guys when I'm in the store and all that, and I see, you can tell they're friends. Nothing funny, nothing like, they're just guys. Friends. They work on a, you can tell they work on a construction site, but they're really enjoying one another's company, going to the store, buying some stuff and all that. And I say to myself, huh, I wonder how they hang out throughout the week. Maybe they drink adult beverages throughout the week. That's not my problem, whatever, whatever they do. But I'll see where guys have a camaraderie. But I wonder, because I've been in this thing for 40 years almost, I don't necessarily always see that in the body.

0:45 We'll show up on Sunday at 10 o'clock. And we'll beg somebody to come on, maybe to a man cave or to maybe to shoot pool. But then when guys are at home, they're just at home and on Friday nights when it's not a man cave, what are they doing? Oh, I'm just spending time with my wife and kids. Everybody don't spend that much time with their wife and kids. Stop lying. I've been married long enough to know everybody don't spend that much time with their wife and kids. Especially when the kids are grown, so stop, but those guys also have wife and kids and jobs too. That's when they'll go, they'll do their bass, the bass fishing trip. They'll do their Vegas trips. They'll do their poker nights.

1:26 They'll do all their other stuff and they'll have no problem. They still got wife and kids and job yet. The believer, what do you have? What do you have? Yet, we're supposed to be knit together. Man to Man 360 starts in 3, 2, 1. You've tuned in to Man to Man 360. The show for men, by men, dealing with all subjects. The twist here is we come from a biblical worldview to encourage and empowerment, to make it a life through the power of Jesus. Dr.

2:13 Chopping it up, chopping it up. Chop it up. Men talking about you're talking loud sometimes it's cool. It's cool, and sometimes it's here. This is man to man, 360. Yeah. Hey, welcome to a brand new episode of man to man 360. I am your host, Daryl Anderson, and we have a special episode for you. It is a man cave edition every month. As you know, we play audio from our man cave fellowship. We actually did on Valentine's day. And so. We changed the theme to be brotherly love or Philadelphia.

2:56 And that's the theme of the evening or the theme of this show. And that fellowship was brotherly love brothers keeper. And so we went pretty deep into this and had some great dialogue and conversation about this. And I want to share this with you guys, and hopefully this should be a blessing to you so that you can understand the relationships you have with your fellow brothers. And your friends in the Lord, especially that you need to be able to cultivate them and also know which ones you keep and which ones you move away from some are healthy and some are not healthy. But before we go any further, go to man to man 360 dot com. That's man. The number two man 360 dot com.

3:38 And there's where you can actually follow the show. You can share the show with others and you can contact us to let us know what you think about the show. If you go to the show notes, you can actually text us in the notes and send us some really great feedback and whatnot. Also give us a five star review on that as well to while you're at it. But listen, let's get ready to jump right in without any further ado. This is my brother's keeper. This is brotherly love the man cave edition. All right. So we're going to get ready for the man cave. There's going to be an exciting night. This is our second month of the year. Special night, special night. What, what is tonight's theme?

4:21 Huh? Brother's Keeper, Brother's Keeper, Brother's Keeper. By the way, does anybody remember the message from from Sunday? Yes. Other than Pastor? What was the message? Agape love. Agape love. What else? What else? The pastor spoke about four different types of loves, the Rajay, Erdos, Philia, and Agape. What most likely are we going to talk about tonight? Agape or Philia. Both. Also too, there was something special, one of the verses he went to, he talked about a new what? Covenant. New covenant. What was that new covenant? Love your brother as I have loved you, as I have loved you.

5:02 And why is that super important? Because we're so used to doing things our way. The old covenant said, love your neighbor as yourself. And sometimes, you know, we do that. But when Jesus made the new, he made a new standard. He raised the bar, as you would say, so now we don't have a choice in the matter. Love it, love it, love it, love it, love it. They're paying attention, they're paying attention. And also with that, he said, because of this, what? Anybody remember? Because of this, people will know, they will know, what?

5:47 Follow me. Because of The love from one. Nope. Not God from one to another. That's super key. Amen. That's why tonight is so important. That's why tonight is so so important because we're gonna be passing the tracks. We're gonna be sharing the gospel but guess what? I hate to say this. I hate to say this but none of it means a thing. If when that guy comes off the street with that track, it's like, wow, so this is the place? Wow. And walks in and he can't see the love for one another. He's going to take that track and rip it up and go right back out and smoke, drink and do whatever he was doing.

6:32 Because like, well, I had I had better than this in the world. I used to be part of a gang. I used to be part of this. At least we was we was like this. We would die for one another. Y'all won't even cross the street for one another. That's I'm good. That's why that's important. Amen? Amen. That's why that's important. And remember last summer, we're going to go, we're going to be doing this in a couple months. It won't be next month, but in a couple months, I told you, I warned you guys, we're going to do a topic on this when it comes to culture, ethnicity, and race. Now the reason that's super important, because don't you sit there and tell me. Well, I'm only brothers to the brothers, you know what I'm saying? No, you're only brothers to the brothers?

7:13 To the black guys? To the white guys to the white guys? And the Puerto Ricans to the Puerto Ricans? Is that a brother? I don't think so. I don't think so. We're going to understand what this whole brotherhood is. We'll go to that conversation in a few months. That's going to be really good because we're operating in that. We have to perfect it, but we're already operating in that. But tonight, man. This is We call it Valentine's and all that. And I'm glad you guys are here and all that. And that's cool. But, but when we dealt with that word love, it's okay. Well, hey, why don't we deal with the brotherly love? Maybe that's why the Eagles won. I don't know. You know, for the Philly, Philadelphia means, you know, brotherly love, right?

7:56 Amen. But guys, this is that night. This is that night that we're going to sharpen this piece. And help you have a clearer understanding of what this means. Because when you do this part right here, you become a better man. Your relationships become better. Your life becomes better. And God is well pleased. Amen? God is well pleased. Why? Because God is a what? Starts with an F. Starts with an F. It sounds like father. Father! Father! He's a father.

8:36 And he wants to see his what? Kids doing what? Getting along. Getting along. So now he can really anoint this thing. Amen? How many guys ready for the man cave? Yay! Well, with that said, Welcome to the man cave. Yeah. So I'm gonna, we're gonna start this off with Brother Paul, who's gonna be doing the My Brother's Keeper part. Let's give him a hand, guys. We're gonna start in Genesis 4 verses 1 to 10.

9:17 And if someone has a King Jimmy version, I'd like someone to start with that one. If you're ready, when you're ready, just raise your hand so I know. Genesis 4 verses 1 to 10. I'm gonna, I'll stop you a little ways in. Okay. So this is the King James. Okay, that's good. Now Adam knew his wife and she conceived and bore Cain and said, I have acquired a man from the Lord. Then she bore again this time his brother Abel. Now Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the flock.

9:59 So hold on a second. What does a keeper of the sheep do? Shepherd. He shepherds. What does that mean? He does flock. He does what for the flock? The flock. Protects them and you know, he's going to feed them things like that, but keep, keep that in mind. All right. Okay. Keep going. In the process of time, it came to pass that Cain brought an offering of the food of the ground to the Lord. Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock, and of their fat. And the Lord respected Abel and his offering. But he did not respect Cain and his offering.

10:39 And Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell. So the Lord said to Cain, why were you angry, and why has your countenance fallen? Okay, so stop there for a minute. So this is interesting. King James says your countenance fell. So the Amplified version, I mean I looked at a lot of different translations, Amplified uses the words annoyed. Use the word annoyed. You know, you start thinking about that. How do you, when you're looking down, how do you really feel? I mean, think about it. Are you angry? Are you, sometimes people get angry. You know, frustrated.

11:21 Hurt, disappointed, and you know, you start thinking about those things. I think with brotherly love, we start thinking of, of this brother's keeper. And this is the complaint. I mean, but God is calling here and he's saying, look, you know, disappointment is the other thing. When you're, when you're disappointed, especially in yourself, that's the time to start looking down. And I think that's it. And then there's another element. How about shame? When you're looking down, do you feel shame? Wait a minute. Why do you feel shame? What have you done? It's that horrible word, sin.

12:02 So I, I had always been taught this was all about jealousy. It's not about jealousy. You're looking down because you feel shame. You feel sin. You're talking about yourself. So let's think about this. Can you continue? Just, just verse seven. If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And this desire is for you, but you should rule over it. Sin was already in Cain's life. So this was a teachable moment. God gave Cain a chance to change his life.

12:42 I, I think this is, you know, I had, I've re read this and re read this and I'm like, wait a minute, this is a chance. Oh wait, it's okay. He gets his chance. His faith isn't like Abel's. Why? When he, and this is the thing that got me again I thought this was all about jealousy. No, it's about being devout and faithful versus living a life entertaining sin in your life. So all this time again, I've I've been a Christian since I was 17 I'm 60 and You know, I think about this, I grew up in a church, and I always had heard it's about jealousy.

13:24 No! It's about a guy living a sinful life, making bad choices. He goes to bring his sacrifice, which was the first fruits, and it wasn't accepted. Why? Because he wasn't holding on to the faith. And to me, this is just, this is a huge part of it. All right. Can you read? Versus verse eight. Yeah. Now Cain talked with Abel, his brother, and it came to pass when they were in the field that Cain rose up against Abel, his brother, and killed him. You know, I don't think anyone here believes it's easy to kill someone. Does everybody agree?

14:06 All right. So you're not just going to go out and kill your brother. I mean, it's the guy you spend all the time with, right? Does it make more sense if you start thinking about this guy having a sinful life? Does that mean, does that make more sense? Cause that was one of the things I could never understand. How could you just get up after being good guy all the time and then kill? No, it doesn't make sense. And when you start thinking about this is the guy who had sin in his life. We don't know how many sins he committed, but that's what it comes down to. And again. God does not ignore this. Think about it. Read on.

14:47 Then the Lord said to Cain, where is Abel, your brother? He said, I do not know. Am I my brother's keeper? And he said, what have you done? The voice of your brother's blood, Christ out to me from the ground. So this is the horrific crime. He didn't let Cain pretend in hide his sin. God exposed a sin and punished it. Now, I'm saying this is a lot about protection. And for me, you know, I started thinking about my own boys. And when they were younger, they would always be button heads, fighting with each other. Anybody have two boys?

15:28 Or brothers? Okay. Am I right, guys? Do you fight with your brothers? Do brothers fight? I did not have, so this was hard for me. I grew up with two sisters, no brothers. So I, I couldn't understand this, the constant fighting. And I heard it from my, my in laws, you know, this is what boys do. Okay. So my brother, my, my sons are out there. And one guy jumps on the little one. And he starts pounding on my littlest one. The big brother comes over, picks the guy up, and throws him. And I'm like, yeah, I was just about to step out the door to do something.

16:09 And He looks at me, he looks at, he's all scared. Oh my gosh! I'm in trouble because I got in a fight. I says, no, you did right. You protected your little brother. That's part of your job. Now the little brother is playing with someone and someone comes along and starts to insult the guy he's with. He's a special needs kid. The little brother comes up and says, I'll see you at the schoolyard. He calls everybody. This is John who's come and visited.

16:50 I'll never forget this story. My, his, his sister runs down the street, calls me, John's gonna get in a fight. He's gonna be at the schoolyard. So I'm, like, this is not, John's the one who gets in fights. Alright, so I'm just, I'm walking there. It's about a half mile. I'm walking there, I get there, like, he's on his way back. He wouldn't show. I told him he was gonna make fun of me. He better be ready to fight. So John called all his friends from the school, just wanted to let them know to be there so, so when, to witness that this guy wouldn't show, but he would be there to make fun of people. Protection. That's what we should be thinking about when we're talking about protecting the sheep.

17:34 Think about that, that way. It's just slightly different. All right. Thank you. Very good. That was good, Paul. Even though there was another part of that story, I don't know if he brought it up, but the fact that, as a father, I want him to bring up the fact, too, that as a father, he was able to look down and appreciate the two boys. Remember, that's the important part. That's important. Yeah, it's the brother part on this perspective to realize that the father also wants us to defend one another. Amen. Amen. We'll pick up from there right after this.

18:28 The man cave is developed around we call it the five pillars. There's praise and worship Where we sing a song or two and really just, invite the presence of God in and get the guys singing and clapping and whatever and really make a push on getting guys into the music. Because typically guys like to avoid praise or lifting of hands or singing and that type of stuff. So we really put a focus on that. And then we go right in from that into prayer, you know, intercession prayer. We ask guys if there's certain things that they want us to pray for, to agree with them in prayer for, and we make sure to focus it on them. Sometimes guys will say, Hey, yes, and I got this neighbor, can you pray for them? And we're like, no, no, no. We want to know what is it that you need prayer for?

19:08 Because, because you're the neighbor, that's your job to pray for your neighbor. From there, we actually. going to the competition part. Now that's the exciting part of the man cave. It just creates that competitive piece, makes it exciting, but it gets that testosterone, bubbling up and everything else. And there's a reason to that really too. I've been doing men's ministry now for almost 30 years. A lot of times men don't really have those men focused things at churches. So in some cases. To guys, it can feel a little, feminine or emasculating in some cases. And because of that, we want to make sure that there's a masculine feel to men's fellowship. It's both fun, it's inviting, it's also used as a fish bait to get guys out.

19:51 The other reason that we do competition is so we can create two teams. And in creating two teams, we create a camaraderie between those guys. They stay on those teams for the duration. You don't go from second Friday to second Friday. No, you're contacting guys in between guys, able to reach out. Guys are able to, Hey man, I'm really dealing with this thing. I'm struggling with this thing. So they can reach out to somebody. We go from the competition part and then we go into the work. We go into scripture. We, do some teaching and then we make. Breakout into breakout groups. The breakout groups allows guys to be able to, answer some things or share their thoughts on those same tough topics that was just preached a few minutes ago.

20:32 The word is, is a two headed sword. It cuts open things. It exposes us to ourselves, at least. to what's really happening on the inside or the things we've been trying to cover up and hide. and then we break from there and we, we eat. That's a great time to be able to dive in and just really see how guys are doing. Pastors and churches don't have a men's ministry. You're missing out on the opportunity to Free that man from that thing. He's been trapped in that, that stronghold has been in his life in his ministry allows him to be free, vulnerable, and then free in this verse, let's go to chapter 17.

21:46 First Samuel chapter 17. By the way, before I go any further, let me, let me stop real quick. And I, and I hope he doesn't mind me doing this. I found out a few days ago from our, from one of our guys Can we reach out to you guys and check up on guys and whatnot. And Brother Frank, you just lost your wife recently. Had you? How long ago was it? You just got back. So let's keep our brother Frank in prayer. He just lost his wife. And we appreciate you being here, bro. And we're here for you. Amen. Amen. We're going to be here for this brother, right? And you lose your wife.

22:28 That's your heart. So never let a man feel like he's by himself at that, at that point. Amen. Allow that man time to mourn, but then don't let him feel like he's by himself either. Amen. Show him love and support. Amen. Amen. I appreciate you, bro. So anyway, in, in, in, in, in first Samuel 17 in verse 55, I think it's, yeah, 55. So this is right after David had just killed Goliath. He had just killed Goliath. Now, mind you, David was going to the camp where the military was every day to provide supplies and, and see Saul and his brothers and et cetera, right? But Saul never paid attention to him, to this kid, David, dropping things off and coming to the site.

23:14 But let's look at what happens here in verse 55. So here he comes up and then in verse 55, he says, Now when Saul saw David going out against the Philistine, he said to Abner, the commander of the army, Abner, whose son is this young man? And Abner said, By your life, O king, I do not know. And the king said, You inquire whose son the youth is. So when David returned from killing the Philistine, Abner took him and brought him before Saul with the Philistine's head in his hand. So he's still got Goliath's head in his hand at this point. And Saul said to him, Whose son are you, young man? And David answered, I am the son of your servant, Jesse the Bethlehemite.

23:56 Amen? Then we jump right into 18 and 1. Now it came about when he had finished speaking to Saul. That the Saul, the soul of Jonathan, Jonathan is Saul's son. Amen. The soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David and Jonathan loved him as himself. Saul took him that day and did not let him return to his father's house. Now at this point, about how old is David? He's a teenager, but about how old? About 16, 17? Maybe as young as 14, but we'll say 16, 17 for the, just for the. So about 1617, at this point, he's no longer living with his father.

24:40 He is instantly moved into the house of Saul, living with the king. Amen. Now, we just saw here that Jonathan was knit to the soul of David. What does that mean? They were one. Well, a love relationship. No, what does that mean? No. Well, to we, what does that mean? No. Okay. It means you're connected. There's a love, right? You're connected. Now, so I'm not even going to give energy to the fact that the world is trying to say that that's a different type of relationship. So let's, let's, let's stop with that right now. Amen. So, but, but what we realize here is that there is love.

25:21 Now, but what does that mean? We, we talked about this in our, in our, in our core group team team strategy meeting this afternoon. And we, we well, I can wait. No, I'm not going to wait. What this basically means is this. His soul was in it. What's in your soul? Will, intellect, and emotions. Today's Valentine's Day. What's the symbol on Valentine's Day? The heart. So, the other word for the soul is the heart. It's my affection, too. Right? It's all those loves that we talked about. There's the brotherly love.

26:01 There's Eros and all that. And all that's in our heart. It's emotionally, right? But also there, now I think, Pastor, when you, when you taught, you, you mentioned the four different types of love, but there's some other ones. One of them is patriotic, it's patriotism. It's, it's, it's the love of country. Jonathan had a love for the nation of Israel. Jonathan also had a love, love for the Lord. So could it be that what we mean by them being knit together? Is that they both had the same love for nation and the same love for the Lord.

26:43 Put it like this. Let me give a crazy example. It's a real life example. We see this all the time. You was a big Kamala fan and I'm a big Trump fan and this is an election year and you know how it is in America. Oh, I hate those guys and he hate those guys. And so as much as we say, Hey, we're all brothers in the Lord. But it's something about when we ain't really agree with some of the same stuff. We're not that knit. You're not knit. Cause, how can two walk together unless they agree? Like, eh, until you can get over that, then you might.

27:27 But until then, you won't. Amen. But that, but if we were, we're both, you know, Trump guys or Kamala guys or whatever, then we're like, yeah. And whoever is against our guy, then we don't like him, but we like each other. That's that knit. That's the patriotic, patriotic and all those other things. But it's also of the Lord. That's key when you understand the relationship and what we're going to be seeing next. Amen. So here in, in, in chapter 18 let's see. So he loved him as himself and he loved them as himself can mean a couple of things. But what we're going to stick with right now is that they both love the same things.

28:10 So I took him that day. And so let's jump down. Then Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved them as himself. Jonathan stripped himself of the role that he was. that was on him and gave it to David. The robe that he had was royalty. He's the son of a who? King. He's the prince. In other words, if Saul dies, who becomes king? Who becomes king? Jonathan. Jonathan is supposed to become the king. If Saul dies, Jonathan becomes the king. So he had that robe. But he passes that robe on to who? Maybe that's prophetic. We don't know. Amen?

28:50 So let's read this here. And wrote was on him and gave it to David with his armor including his sword and his bow and his belt. So David went out wherever Saul sent him and prospered and Saul sent him over men of war and it was pleasing in the sight of all the people and also in the sight of Saul's servants. It happened as they were coming when David returned from killing the Philistines that the women came out and of all the cities of Israel singing and dancing to meet King Saul with tambourines with joy. It was at this point that they made up a song. Saul has killed his thousands.

29:30 And David is killed as what? Tens of thousands. And it's from that point, right then and there, that Saul had a problem with David because of jealousy. It was at that point right there. That's when it all started. Now, mind you, this is with him living in his house. Living in his house. Amen? Y'all still with me? So, down to where's seven down to seven. Okay, now we're going to jump over to Samuel 20, chapter 20. Chapter 20, verse 2. Okay, so I'll start with one. Then David fled from Naoth and Ramoth and came out and said unto Jonathan, what have I done?

30:12 At this point, he's trying to figure out, does your father want to kill me? What's going on here? What have I done? What is it? What is my iniquity? And what is my sin before your father that he is seeking my life? And he said to him, far from it. In other words, Jonathan is, no, I just want to kill you. He loves you. Because at this point, you know, you live, you've been living with us for a while. Amen. But also at this point, he's married. So now, he's married to Saul's daughter. That makes David and Saul's relationship, what? That's a, that's a father in law now. And David is there, Jonathan is now his what?

30:54 His brother in law. Keep that in mind, just out of curiosity. Also understand that Jonathan's kids are David's who's. Nieces and nephews. And David is actually the uncle. So when you think of Mephiteshep, don't think of him as Saul's son anymore. Start to think of him as David's nephew. Amen? And all this started with all these vows and everything. Amen? Y'all still with me? Alright. So here in 20, 20 20, actually somebody read 20 in verse 2, 3, and 4. And he said unto them, God forbid thou shalt not die. Behold, my father will do nothing, either great or small, but that he will show it to me, show it to me.

31:38 And why should my father hide this thing from me? It is not so. And David swear moreover. Thy father certainly knoweth that I have found grace in thine eyes. And he saith, Let not Jonathan know this. Made a what? A covenant. The house of David saying, let the Lord require it at the head of David's enemies. Now, Jonathan, again, caused David to bow because he loved him. Well, he loved him as he loved his own soul. Okay, stop there. At this point, this is when he starts to make these covenants with David. That's why we have the Mephistopheles, which we're not going to talk about.

32:20 But I understand these all started right here and there. Paul talked about protection. In other words, Jonathan was saying, listen, if something should happen and you do become king, cause it looks like that's probably going to be the case. Make sure my family is protected. Make sure that my family is covered. Military guys, at least historically, we used to hear about the stories of, yeah, if I, if I should die, make sure what? My family is taken care of. That still happens today, guys. That still happens today. Make sure my family is cooked. Why? Because the man and the father represent what? The three things we talk about all the time.

33:00 What? The priest, the what? The protector and the provider. So he's like, listen, make sure they're provided for, make sure they're protected. Amen? The priest part, you know, whatever, right? So that's what Saul Jonathan is doing even right now with his friend that he loves because we think on the same thing. In other words, we have the same worldview. Our souls isn't it? Our souls isn't it? I want you to see one more thing. Verse jump down to 41. Verse 41. We're going to read, somebody read verse 41 and 42. When the lab was done, David rose from the south side and fell upon his face to the ground and bowed three times.

33:46 And they kissed each other and wept together, but David wept some more. Keep going. Jonathan said to David, go in safety as much as we have sworn to each other in the name of the Lord, saying the Lord will be between me and you and between my descendants and your descendants forever. Then he rose and departed while Jonathan went into the city. Okay, at this point he had already proven the point that he said, listen just give you a background story. David went away and said, listen if, if, when you're, when I'm gone for three days, if your father misses me at the table and he asks, Hey, what's going on with David? And he gets mad and we have proof now that he hates me.

34:30 I want you to warn me. So in other words, it happened, Saul gets angry, Jonathan then warns him. He sends a boy out there. He said, listen, I'm going to send him, send this boy out there. I'm going to shoot some arrows, but David's going to be hiding out in the woods. When I shoot the arrows, the signal is going to be, Hey boy, go far, far away. That was a sign to David to get the heck out of here. My father wants to kill you. Get out of Dodge. Get out of Dodge. Why? Because as he loved him, he was also protecting him. He didn't want him to die. He said, get out of here, man. My father actually does hate you. I thought maybe he didn't, but he does hate you.

35:10 So get the heck out of Dodge. Amen. I want you to look at another verse here and somebody read Proverbs 17 and 17. What in the world does that mean? What does that mean guys? Come on. You guys heard that before. All of you guys are safe. You've been safe for more than a couple of days. What does that mean? Read it again. Friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for the first time. What does that mean? Ready for challenges? What else? What does that mean? Huh? Okay, but what, who is the friend and who is the brother?

35:52 What does that mean? Well, a brother is a blood covenant, a blood relationship, the way I see it. And you don't have, I don't have a choice to have my brother because my mother and father didn't ask me. Huh. So they paid for a friend. A friend, that's my choice. True. To accept. Okay. So I don't know if you're going back. No, no, no. I like that. I like that. What else? What else? Somebody else. Give me something else. That's good. I like that. Friends are perfect. Your brother's got more skin in him. Say again now? Your brother's got more skin in him than just a friend. Your friend's got more He's got more baggage. He's got more snitches. You know, he's got more skin in him.

36:33 He's not a very burning person. Okay. Who's the deeper? The brother. Suppose I told you. Go ahead. Say again. You know a brother more than a friend. Okay. Suppose that that could be deep, especially when we say next. Suppose I told you they're the same guy. Suppose I told you they're the same guy. Suppose I told you they're not blood related. But suppose I told you a friend is one level. But then the brother is the next level of friendship because you're right.

37:19 That's deep. That's right. That's deep. Go ahead. All of these men here are not only my friends, but also my brothers. No. What I'm saying is I might have a lot of friends, but I only have a few of them that's as close as a brother. Okay. Gotcha. That makes more sense. Only a few. I, I would love to say that everybody that's born again is my friend. I'd love to say that they're not. I'd love to say that everybody that I call a friend is like a brother.

37:59 They're not because when the pookie pookie, the poo poo, the doo doo hits the fan, the friends don't show up. The brothers do. And I'm not talking your natural brother. Because many of you, how many of you got brothers? See, just because you have brothers don't mean that they're all friends. See, we have brothers, but we're not that close to them necessarily. Like, for example, I had a cousin, I had a cousin, who, even though we're family, we're blood cousins, first cousins, but he was literally one of my best friends. I literally talked to him probably every day as adults.

38:41 We got married and all that. I talked to him almost every single day. You know, something interesting about that, though. My brother mentioned, my natural brother mentioned this to me. He said, you do know that, and this sort of goes to the story, too. You do know that his wife was jealous of your guys relationship. I said, well, why would she be jealous of our relationship? Because you guys were tight. And she didn't have that relationship with him. I said, wow. Now, before you go, wow, that's deep. Well, that's what we read here. That's what we read here, guys. Whoa, whoa, everybody listen up.

39:23 That's what we read here. Even though Mikkel loved David, and David, I'm sure, loved his wife, and Jonathan, I'm sure, loves his wife, but sometimes there's a really tight relationship with guys. Now, I know I'm sad to say this, but I was talking to the guys the other night, And unfortunately, I would say it'll be going on 40 years next year. And in those 40 years, you ever, you ever been like hanging out with somebody or let's say you two are hanging out and then I see you in the mall or I see you in the store and I walk up and then you introduce to your friend me. Hey, that's my brother from the church.

40:05 I've always had a problem with that. A brother from the church. Is that all I am? It's a brother from the church, but I think that's really true because what I found out past is I've been to this will be my fourth church, the church I got saved in my uncle church for a while. I was there for 14 years and then my recent church was that for about maybe 12, 13 years or so. And you know what? I found out that in each one of those situations you have to start all over again because when I left the first one, it's like nobody connects with you. It's like you're a brother from my church. That's it. Then we leave them there. You don't keep those relationships. You start all over again. Now you're a brother from my church. Then when you leave there, you gotta start all over again.

40:46 Now you're a brother from my church. Then when you leave over there, I have no So after all those years, almost 40 years, what happened to 40 years of those brother relationships? They, they keep dropping. You have to start all over again. That's a problem. And I see guys when I'm in the store and all that. And I see, you can tell they're friends, nothing funny, nothing like, just guys, friends. They work on a, you can tell they work on a construction site, but they're really enjoying one another's company, going through the store, buying some stuff and all that. And I sit and I say, huh, I wonder how they hang out throughout the week. Maybe they drink adult beverages throughout the week.

41:28 That's not my problem, whatever, whatever they do. But I'll see where guys have a camaraderie. But I wonder, because I've been in this thing for 40 years almost, I don't necessarily always see that in the party. We'll show up on Sunday at 10 o'clock and we'll beg somebody to come on maybe to a man cave or to maybe to shoot pool. But then when guys are at home, they're just at home and on Friday nights when it's not a man cave, what are they doing? Oh, I'm just spending time with my wife and kids. Everybody don't spend that much time with their wife and kids. Stop lying. I've been married long enough to know everybody don't spend that much time with their wife and kids.

42:10 Especially when the kids are grown. So stop. But those guys also have wife and kids and jobs too. That's when they'll do their bass fishing trip. They'll do their Vegas trips. They'll do their poker nights. They'll do all their other stuff. And they'll have no problem. They still got wife and kids and job. Yet the believer. What do you have? What do you have? Yet, we're supposed to be knit together. I'm not trying to make nobody feel guilty. I just want you to see things a little differently. See, when you go in the military, those are your comrades, your brothers in war. Well, who are we?

42:52 Who are we? Because tonight, we had prayer requests. We're praying for my brother. We were thinking about him all week. And then we got all these guys that we're praying for as far as they're going through things. You mean to tell me that's all? It's just a thought? I have no friends? At the end of the day, 40 years saved and I lose everybody? What does it really mean then? Are we friends? Or are we brothers? God, it got quiet in here. Acquaintances. I heard that. Did y'all hear that except, except, you know, you know what I found about work friends.

43:40 At least I spent 40 hours with him every week, 10 minutes from the time passes, says amen to his name. And we leave. You, you, you good. If you got two minutes, you good. If you got two minutes now, all of a sudden that you're going through a stressful week and now the devices you've been fighting with all last several years. See, they don't go, they don't go anywhere. You still have thoughts, you still have vices, whether it's been your cigarettes when you're stressed, whether it's drinking when you're stressed, whether it's anything else for that matter. Who's there? Yeah, you're in your little text, and then you got somebody else saying, Hey can you take me out to the chat? The chat, I'm working, I'm busy, I got stuff going on.

44:21 Okay, well, we'll take you out to the chat. But when are you getting plugged in like that? When do you actually go to somebody's house and sit in their backyard and drink a soda together and just watch the sunset? Nothing wrong, man. We ain't talking about nothing funny. We're just talking about, you literally, you're just being there for a brother. Just like Job's friends. Job's friends, the only thing they did right was sit there and said nothing. Man, you're going through. They sat there for three, four days. You need anything? You got some water? Whatever. Goes for friends. You ain't got to say nothing. Just be there. You at this man's house. No. Well, I'll wait till I see him at the church, but he's not at the church. He's going through now.

45:03 We're going to text him at the house. We're going to send him an email. He's not checking phones and emails and text messages. He's at his house going through. He's hurt. He's saddened. He's distraught and nobody's visiting. He ain't got no brothers. He ain't got no friends. Oh, but we're brothers in the Lord. Really? Well, Gerald, isn't it amazing, in a negative manner, Gangs relate to each other. Absolutely. And, and we, who have so much more in common, We're lucky if we see each other once a week, And if we don't, we'll say, Well, maybe next week we'll be there. Wow, that's sad. Maybe next week. So that was you saying, I think you say, you know, Friends, you talk on the computer, You talk about it, The person, what have you been about it, You know, your actions, What?

45:50 What else? The first one, I'm sure you heard that as well. I know you said you're going to do this. You're going to be there for me. I can call you at two o'clock in the morning, if I have something going on, if I have some adversity in my life. With the brothers. Do you talk about it or be about it? Yeah. I want the first of all for being about it. Or vice versa. It's a two way street. You're there for each other. Both of us. Good times, bad times. You share everything. You both be about each other. You share that intimacy. Amen. Good. Good. Now, guess what? That ain't gonna be everybody in this circle, bro. I, I, I told, I told some of the guys, I said, listen, when I'm sitting out eating dinner, like we was away for just an overnight. We did overnight because of my wife's birthday was yesterday.

46:31 So, we was away and the phone ring a couple of times. Like, I don't answer the phone. I don't know him like that. I'm here with my wife. It's her birthday. But now, when I'm at home, eating, getting ready to eat dinner, the phone might be there. I'm eating dinner. But for some like, Oh, Hey man. What's up, bro? Hey, listen, I'm eating dinner. I'll call you right back. Okay. I know. I know. I know. I'll call you right back. Only certain people do I flip the phone on and turn it on. I'm just being honest. No, I say everybody's not your friend. Now we're brothers in the Lord or at my church. But then there's brothers, there's friends, then there's brothers.

47:12 I want you guys to be real honest. If you have friends. If you have one friend, that's the older you get, the less friends you have, right? You're lucky if you have five friends, three friends or two friends, right? But those friends, all relationships have to be cultivated. Now you can create new friendships. You can meet people and go out and try to start a friendship. Amen. But all relationships need to be cultivated. But they're only cultivated. When we are knit together in our soul, what does that mean? It means we agree on the same thing, man. We're both believers. Okay.

47:52 We can agree on that. Kamala, San Francisco. Okay. Right. Well, hold that thought. Hold on. I just want to finish, get this thought out. So we need to be in agreement. I have a slight problem. When, oh, by the way, maybe your best of friends don't even go to to home. And, you know, I don't even necessarily have a problem with that to some degree. But when I ask you, oh, so where do they go? This is where I have the problem. Oh, well, they don't go anywhere. Let me, hold on, hold on. So you're best friends with non believers?

48:32 So how is your soul knit with someone who's dead? That's not possible. Because how can two Walk together unless they have the same worldview. How does that happen? Unless, now it causes me to question you altogether. I think you, it's sus now all of a sudden. I question your salvation. Now brother, let's, let's, we talk about you. You mean you're suspect. Sus. Yes, I said sus. Amen? So now I have to check that. Mike. Michael. I want to say maybe that's why Jesus gave that new commandment.

49:14 Because he saw the disconnect among the people. Amongst his guys? And their love wasn't working. They weren't connecting the way they should have been. Could be. Could be. Or, this is, this is, this is the challenge. I'm going to get ready to break you off in a second. Or he did see the relationships there, because they hung out for three and a half years. Except for one devil. No, I said the disconnect. No, no, no, I got you but maybe it wasn't as disconnected as you thought. So, maybe it was okay but they still have to it was fragmented. That's why they have to work on it. Yeah. That's why I said you have to cultivate it Because see, if you just think your friendships are gonna get better and you don't do nothing with it, they don't get better.

49:57 You have to cultivate it. It's like, so my wife said, Hey, so when the last time you talked to so and so? Oh, it's been a while since I talked him. Has he called you or you called him? No, I ain't really call him lately. I, I saw a couple text messages. Well, you mean you didn't return the call? So what, what, what are the effort that you're putting in, in other words, how are you cultivating this? Because at some point you're gonna need those, those friends, you're gonna need them. Cause she's not going to be there. She's going to be going, she's going to be wherever she is, and you, you're going to need the friend. Cause she's going to have her friends. She's going to go through somebody, she got somebody. Who do you have? Guys, who do you have? Who do you have? Either start cultivating them now, guys.

50:39 Know who's your friends, cause there's going to be a time when you're going to know who your friends are, and you're also going to need to know who your enemies are. Who are your friends? Cause he thought that Saul was good with him. Saul was not good with him. Saul wanted to kill him. And matter of fact, we read about when we did how not to be a saint. We also found out that David's wife turned his back on him. So, who are you really kind of, oh, now I'm all about my wife and kids. Yeah, but kids leave at a certain point. 16, 17, pew, they're out of there. They, they, they still live with you. They're spending less and less and less time with you. And as they become adults, they're going to go off. So, who do you have? Because now you're going to burden pastor and all these other guys. Hey, can somebody please?

51:20 Who are you developing the relationships with? Guys, at this point, the challenge is how do you cultivate and develop the relationships moving forward? And if you have those friendships. Who are them? Why are they there? And how can you cultivate them? Amen. Are y'all with me? Do you understand the goal at this point? How do you cultivate the relationships, both brotherly love relationships? You're not, see, they might, these young guys, they probably can say they got 50 friends. I can't say that. I used to say, Oh yeah, man, I got about a shoot man, about a hundred friends, man. No, not at my age. Oh no. I'm lucky if I can say five.

52:01 I'm I'm good. I'm real good. If I can say five, right? Do you have? Yes. Raise your hand if you have friends. Don't lie if you don't have friends. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Guys, we're gonna get ready to break out into it. Oh, pastor, go ahead. Go. You're saying it's breaking my heart. Yeah. Yeah. True friendships cannot be developed unless there's commonalities.

52:42 And I think we have to look at that. We have to separate the true friends. Like you said, you know, you have the best friend and you're not going to believe it. What commonality? Well, we play pool, we go fishing together. No. Let me answer that real quick, guys. Go ahead. Early on when you're talking about brothers and things like that. Yeah. I'm closer to my church family and my brothers and absolutely from my own siblings. Absolutely. Because they don't, they're not like minded. Yeah. We have a commonality and when I run into a brother that I don't even know and we start to talk immediately, I can sense that he's with the Lord.

53:27 Yeah. Because I can't sense that with my own family. Absolutely. And if we look in the Bible, how many brothers have hated each other. Yeah. Sold them into slavery and tried to kill them. Yep. Amen. So I think there's a commonality that we have. But what do you do with the commonality though? See, this is the catch though. No, what you're saying is right. But when you find a common, what do you do? Because they're like, hey, we're all brothers in the Lord. But you're not friends. So how do you, how are you developing that? To be a friend, or to make a friend, you gotta be a friend in some ways. You gotta be what? You gotta be a friend. You gotta be a to be friendly, right? Go ahead. Real quick. It's because of my best friend in the whole world, and I'm a member of this church today.

54:13 Amen. And he's sitting right there, all good. Amen. I've known that brother for more than 50 years. Amen. If I'm going through something, I can call him. He encourages me. Yup. Yup. And quite frankly, he's the reason I'm still at this church because I wanted to step out many times. No disrespect to the pastor. I love the pastor with all my heart and soul. He's the glue that's keeping me here. But that brother right there is the cast. It's your friendships. It's your friendships. And, and, and, and, so, and obviously I told you I've been, this is like my fourth church, right? So that's, that's out there in the open.

54:53 Whenever the hard decision of leaving a fellowship was like, Hmm, it's getting pretty easy. I don't have any relationships here anymore. It becomes real easy. The hard ones was like, man, I can't leave. I mean, we've eaten at their house. If everything is in this church, you're not gonna, you don't have friendships. But if you have memories somewhere, you've ate at their house, they ate at your house, you guys went out for wings, you guys was on the fishing boat, there was memories there. It's hard. It's hard to leave. Mark was one of the first people that invited us to his house. Haste was one of the first people I met.

55:34 Whoever. I mean, I have different people that can say, yes, these are people that, yes, it makes it hard, but if there ain't nothing there, it's easy. Well, I ain't got nothing there. I mean, oh yeah, I was an usher, but, you know, I, Paul can take over that. I'm, I'm good. But if it's like, no, me and Paul, man, we break bread. Me and David, we hit it off at, at, at Terry's house the two Christmas parties ago. It's like, man, that was my dude. I'm still checking out the guy. Because of that. So sometimes you hit it all. Now are we best of friends like that? No, not yet. But at least something gets started. The, the question is what are you gonna do to cultivate them?

56:16 'cause you might only have one or two left. I'm you and I'm gonna get ready to break us up two way street too. It is a two-way street. And you better make sure it's a two way street. Is there a biblical worldview there? Do we, are we in agreement here? And, and if, if this thing is going both ways, then we got something to spark. If it ain't, back off and just find someone else. Move on. You got something, man? That's what I'm talking about. If there's no reciprocating, then it doesn't, it's not there. It's not there. Time is the issue. I'm too old at this point to waste time. And then, and then I had to cut some guys off, recently.

56:58 They don't even go here. But there were people I thought were friends, but I noticed, huh, that's funny. They, they, they blow my phone up, but every time I answer, they need something from me. Oh, man, I really need this from you, bro. Man, can you, can you show me this direction on this thing? And can you pray for me on this thing? And can you, wow, okay, yeah. I asked him to do one thing past it. Hey, by the way, I need to, cause he owns a store, I need to go by his store to check out something. Cause he had an empty space. I need to check out your empty space. He said, Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. I'll have it available. I went there. He said, Oh, well, just come on by. I got there. That's funny. It's all filled. Oh, I just want you to see that. I brought my store back. So you won't be able to use it. You couldn't have said that?

57:39 Now, I've answered all your 30, 50 calls and did all that with you. That was the end of the relationship right then and there. Because it was a one sided street. It was only when you needed me. I was valuable to you. Amazing. You see how that even I hurt y'all did this episode of Man to Man 360 is a wrap. But you can check us out next week wherever you get your podcast and listen on to man to earlier or exclusive content. Visit us at Man to man three sixty.com. That's man the number two. Man 360 dot com.

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